You may say, "Oh, poor Graham. He had dental work done." I say, "Hey, receptionist lady, doesn't it look like my kid is chewing on a tampon? Let me take a picture real quick before we make his follow-up appointment."
You say, "Holy shit! Do we need to call poison control?!" I say, "Aw, Lily! Yes, your lipstick looks amazing. Give me all the markers, and go show your dad. But first, let me take a picture real quick before he cleans you up."
You say, "Oh no! She cut her own hair!" I say, "Huh. I thought it looked like you had layers now. When did you do that? Oh, two days ago? Well, let me get a picture real quick before we have the scissors talk. Where ARE those scissors?" (See marker lipstick picture for the new layers. I think she did a nice job.)
You say, "What an adorable Harry Potter!" I say, "That's right, and he's even cute when I'm making him give me one of his treats. Hey, Graham, hold that pose while I take a picture real quick."
You say, "Look at that adorable little girl hiding under the table. Wait. What? What is she...is she eating the under-the-table gum?!" I say, "Gross! Knock it off! But before you get up, look over here."
"Let me get a picture real quick."
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